My new and unexpected journey of love, loss and life would come suddenly on April 4, 2017.
It would come on a night in the blink of an eye following one the most normal and amazing days. I when I was 38 lost my soul mate, perfect love, and my beloved John W. Cox. Our precious children (at the time our daughter age 6 and our son age 3) lost their most amazing and best daddy. We lived in New Hampshire at the time and was 26 hours from all family and most of our friends. The main aspect of my life is my disability of my legal blindness. So here I was now in one split second would find myself a widow, a solo/single mama who was and is disabled due to legal blindness with her beloved of almost 10 years married and 12 years together. This is the hardest thing I've every experienced, season to be in and journey to travel.
I don't have all the answers and some I will never had. Some things I have figured out, some I haven't figured and there is much I'm still working through and on. These are my new truths that this journey has taught that I know to be true. Know the truths that I share with you comes from a place of true understanding of someone who has been there, is there and know what it is to travel this journey of love, loss and life. Life is short. Life and our world can change on a dime and in blink of an eye. There are no gruantess or promises of tomorrow. I know that cherish what you have and treasure it while you have it. I know that life is messy and complicated and there is no simple or cut dry method to this journey. I know you have to have to breath in and out and remind yourself of this. You have to find a way to put one front in front of the other. You have to take it one breath, one second, one minute, one hour and one hour at a time. I know you to (no matter how hard it is), give yourself much much grace, be kind and tender with yourself and your heart. Finds ways to do self care.
This truth I also know while all the things I just seem trite, simple, easy common and cliquishe answers there is nothing simple about the truth and wisdom of those words. This I know to be true there is no schedule, ryme, rthyme, or reason or order to our greif. One who travels this journey discovers and learns much of their life going forward will be bitter sweet, double edge swords. Travelers of this journey will learn the new balancing act of thier new reality of bing in the land of and/both. Also remember this is your own journey and yours alone. You have to find your own way and path to follow as you travel this journey. No one can tell you have to travel what they know not have to or know how to travel for themselves. There is no right or wrong there is simply is what it is. We all. have to find our own path and discover in which manner or way will travel it. It has been said when one doesn't know what to do or the path or see what is next then do the next right thing. You must travel on your own new journey for yourself and yourself alone defining what it is your next right thing. Travel on in love, grace and kindness striving to thrive and doing your best for you and only you.
Know you are not alone in this new season and journey in your life.
