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  • Writer's pictureMichaela S. Cox

No More Commentary From the Peanut Galleries

As women it seems as if there is this magical switch that gets flipped as soon as we become mommies and enter into the world of motherhood. I mean in the very instant a women says I’m pregnant or expecting after the much congrats there seems to follow, whether asked for and sought after or not and no matter how well intended it may be or not, an endless steady and flowing stream of well you know I did, you know you should, I would if were you and when I was a mom this is what I found to be the best of whatever in parenting and motherhood that could ever be given. Now for some women this is great and others not so much or maybe in a moderate degree its hoped for, wanted, needed or desired. It seems to me to be a most and odd bizarre phenomenon that just with the simple information of I’m expecting the same people prior to that would never had dream of inserting or interjecting any of the above advice but now all the sudden they feel totally free and comfortable giving or inserting any and all advice as if to drown or bombard you with their new found loose lips or diarrhea of their months. Better yet once we are mommies you are told how you aren’t doing it the right way and this is how you are to do it. I truly don’t understand what changes for a person to make them now it’s okay, acceptable or welcomed for them to speak on matter that are my business and not of any of their concern. Also in the new found constant flowing stream of commentary I had to wonder as a new mommy how was I supposed to be able hear myself and trust what I knew and believed as the expert on my baby girl and family.

The answer and solution to stopping the swimming and drowning in the swirling, whirling sea of experts says is to silence the sea of swirling whirling voices offering vast and endless amount of knowledge, information, counsel, advice and expertise. For me as a new mommy this solution came from a few sources that provided me with my own solution too silencing the commentary from the peanut galleries. The first solution came from a good and wise friend of mine who told me during my pregnancy the following when becoming a mommy and entering to my journey of motherhood. My friend said for me to get to use to any and everybody coming to you with advice and for me to practice saying to them while nodding my head thanks ever so very much and I will take that into consideration and under advisement. The second solution in silencing the swirling and whirling voices of the peanut galleries was found in my own ability, freedom and power of knowing, owning and accepting I and only I was the expert and no one else was for my daughter and my family. I mean from my perspective until someone had and has done what I have done, been where I have been and walked where I have walked then they can’t understand, know or say what they or I would do in anything, life never mind motherhood. I am and must be the expert in my life, for my daughter and family.

A third source of the solution for silencing the swirling and whirling voices from the peanut galleries came as a direct result of owning, knowing and accepting that I and I alone was the ultimate expert for my daughter and family. In my ability to owning, knowing and accepting my expertise as a mommy, in my motherhood, of my baby girl and family I gained experience and in turn gained my confidence as a mommy. As I gained more and more experience, expertise I continued to gain confidence and grew in trusting my abilities as a mommy. This showed me I had this for myself, my baby girl and my family and thus I no longer felt the need fir anymore expert voices form the peanut galleries. In my confidence I could find, hear and listen to my own experienced, expertise and confident voice that was filled with my own wisdom and counsel as a mommy. In my new found and continuing growing confidence it gave me the ability and freedom to tell the peanut galleries of experts to be silent and please shut the hell up. I could silence them and say to the peanut galleries to stay the hell out of my business for it is of none of their concern and if need I will asked at such said time til then please mind your own business, be quite and no more commentary form you in the peanut gallery. I and we as mothers must find and listen to our own voices and have confidence in our abilities as mommies. In and through our experience, expertise and confidence we will be able to build houses of cards of motherhood on a strong, steady and confident foundation for ourselves, babies and families. May we as mommies always strive to find, hear and listen to our own voices of experience and expertise filled with our own wisdom, guidance, and knowledge to guide us through our own journeys as mothers thus ignoring, shutting out, and silencing the endless voices from the peanut galleries.

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